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RLP Archive

These are essays from the Real Live Preacher blog. 2002-2010

There’s something about the way you use the Bible

There’s something about the way you use the bible, something about the way you use it as a tool, as a weapon, as a fulcrum, as a means, as an end, as a trump...

.9 of X

  Let this circle represent a pastor. Let x represent the reality of his life. X includes the best and the worst in him. X includes his secret sexual fantasies and the most selfish and harmful...

How to find a church

I keep getting emails from people who say, “Your church sounds nice. I wish I could find one like that.” Let me guess. You’re looking for a cool church, filled with authentic Christians who aren’t...

Mark Twain

A man once told me that he believes every word in the bible. I was struck dumb with amazement. He Believes Every word in the bible There is no part of that statement that makes sense to me. He...

Even the rich woman

A Dramatized Version of a Bible Story No one hated rich people more than Judas. Seriously, he hated them. Judas said the problems our people were having could be traced back to all sorts of...

Just to Sit and Cry and Not be Bothered

Things are pretty quiet in the mountain town of Creede, Colorado. You will not find fast food or fast living there. If you want someone to package your entertainment and provide it with instructions,...

I eat TV preachers

I saw a TV preacher the other day. I was flipping through the channels, like men do, and there he was. A haircut with a floppy bible and a Plexiglas pulpit. He was pacing...

Do This in Remembrance of Me

This is a somewhat early RLP piece, written when I was still anonymous. I'd guess it was 2003. I met Hugh Elliott, the man who writes Standing Room Only, by email back in December of...

The Ministers’ Morgue

Originally posted in 2008 at RealLivePreacher.com. This story may only be online for a limited time, since it will be in the new edition of Turtles All the Way Down. I got the news that...

Forget the Angles

I have a preacher friend who lives in an old farmhouse that he is restoring himself. He’s one of those “do everything” guys. Gardening, carpentry, repair work, he does it all. Robert is not a...