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RLP Archive

These are essays from the Real Live Preacher blog. 2002-2010

I have no title for this

Originally posted at Real Live Preacher on February 18th, 2003. Requested by Bill Gawne Sit down Christian. You cannot wave your unread Bible and scare me because I know the larger story that runs through...

You Ain’t Jesus, Preacher Part Two: Losing The Language of Love

Note: Click here to read part one of this story. This is the story of how ministers find out they’re not Jesus. This is the story of hitting bottom. You start figuring out you’re not Jesus...

Everett Joseph Smith was a real boy

This essay was never published online. It was written for the book (RealLivePreacher.com) and published in 2004. There were 9 essays only that only appeared in the book. The phone call came at night. Doesn’t...

Hollowed Be Thy Name

Originally published at Real Live Preacher in May of 2003. These people asked me to do a wedding in a hollow church. I shit you not. A hollow church. They found this place in Dallas. The...

Mark Twain

A man once told me that he believes every word in the bible. I was struck dumb with amazement. He Believes Every word in the bible There is no part of that statement that makes sense to me. He...

Do This in Remembrance of Me

This is a somewhat early RLP piece, written when I was still anonymous. I'd guess it was 2003. I met Hugh Elliott, the man who writes Standing Room Only, by email back in December of...

Open Communion

Originally posted at Real Live Preacher on April 25th, 2006. Requested by Brad Chittick. I don't know how many of you are out there. I have some statistics that suggest there are a lot of...

Trinket Transformation

I got to design my own office when we built our church four years ago. It's a 10' by 10' room with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves all around, a large window and a recessed area for...

The Smallest Person in All the World

This story originally appeared at RealLivePreacher.com in two parts. Part One: The Rabbi, the Woman, and the Cities The Rabbi (Twenty Years Before) Jesus, son of Joseph, what would you do if you met the smallest person in...

I eat TV preachers

I saw a TV preacher the other day. I was flipping through the channels, like men do, and there he was. A haircut with a floppy bible and a Plexiglas pulpit. He was pacing...