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RLP Archive

These are essays from the Real Live Preacher blog. 2002-2010

The Ministers’ Morgue

Originally posted in 2008 at RealLivePreacher.com. This story may only be online for a limited time, since it will be in the new edition of Turtles All the Way Down. I got the news that...

Do This in Remembrance of Me

This is a somewhat early RLP piece, written when I was still anonymous. I'd guess it was 2003. I met Hugh Elliott, the man who writes Standing Room Only, by email back in December of...

Hollowed Be Thy Name

Originally published at Real Live Preacher in May of 2003. These people asked me to do a wedding in a hollow church. I shit you not. A hollow church. They found this place in Dallas. The...

You Ain’t Jesus, Preacher, Part One: The Tower of Babel

Everyone has identity issues now and again. Maybe you don’t know who you are or don’t like who you think you might be. Maybe you’re a little too close to your mother, or maybe...

What if

What if we suddenly saw the world with God’s eyes? What if the reality of good and evil exploded into our consciousness in a blinding flash of inspiration? What if this happened right in the...

The George Stories

These three stories were posted in this order in January of 2003 at Real Live Preacher. This was VERY early in my RLP adventure. Just a little over thirty days after my first blog...

The Smallest Person in All the World

This story originally appeared at RealLivePreacher.com in two parts. Part One: The Rabbi, the Woman, and the Cities The Rabbi (Twenty Years Before) Jesus, son of Joseph, what would you do if you met the smallest person in...

I eat TV preachers

I saw a TV preacher the other day. I was flipping through the channels, like men do, and there he was. A haircut with a floppy bible and a Plexiglas pulpit. He was pacing...

Tetragrammaton

Originally posted at Real Live Preacher on September 4th, 2003. Requested by Paige Baker. I recently watched "The Believer," a movie based on the true story of Daniel Burros, a Jewish man who was a...

I was only ever outside once

This piece was originally posted in February of 2004 and was intended to describe my experience as an anonymous blogger and my creepy feelings about how insulated Church culture is in our world. It...