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RLP Archive

These are essays from the Real Live Preacher blog. 2002-2010

The Man in Black

Originally posted at RealLivePreacher.com in October of 2007 I saw him hitchhiking on the shoulder of I-35 the other day. He was walking with his back to the traffic and with his left thumb stuck...

I eat TV preachers

I saw a TV preacher the other day. I was flipping through the channels, like men do, and there he was. A haircut with a floppy bible and a Plexiglas pulpit. He was pacing...

All the Right Questions

A church man came to see me the other day. A churchy man, an important man in his church. A deacon I think, maybe. He came to see me and our little church. He...

Elegy from Elton

I was driving the other day. The August sun was pounding on the car. Everything felt heavy. Things were moving slow and the traffic noise was incredibly intrusive, like it was from some other...

The Ministers’ Morgue

Originally posted in 2008 at RealLivePreacher.com. This story may only be online for a limited time, since it will be in the new edition of Turtles All the Way Down. I got the news that...

Greetings to the 2006 Freshman Class of Cornell University

Originally published in August of 2006 at Real Live Preacher. The big day is finally here; you’ve made it to college. You’ve worked hard to get into Cornell, and I assume you are giddy with...

Everett Joseph Smith was a real boy

This essay was never published online. It was written for the book (RealLivePreacher.com) and published in 2004. There were 9 essays only that only appeared in the book. The phone call came at night. Doesn’t...

The Preacher’s Story in Four Parts

This short autobiography was posted in four parts from December 14-21, 2002, the first month of Real Live Preacher. I've never liked it. It was roughly written, and I cringe when I read it....

I have no title for this

Originally posted at Real Live Preacher on February 18th, 2003. Requested by Bill Gawne Sit down Christian. You cannot wave your unread Bible and scare me because I know the larger story that runs through...

Tetragrammaton

Originally posted at Real Live Preacher on September 4th, 2003. Requested by Paige Baker. I recently watched "The Believer," a movie based on the true story of Daniel Burros, a Jewish man who was a...