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RLP Archive

These are essays from the Real Live Preacher blog. 2002-2010

A Religion of Denial

Originally posted in 2006 at RLP Back in the early 90s, a man named John was a member of our church. He was a professional man, with a wife and two sons. Sam was in...

Seeing Gravity

For a brief period of time in 2001 I started seeing gravity, and my world turned into a slapstick comedy. It began when a woman dropped a book. The book flew out of her...

The Raccoon Stories

In 2004 I had raccoon troubles. I wrote about them in a series of stories. Mind you, I didn't put a lot of effort into these, so I have no idea if they proceed...

Naked as the day we were born

I had a vision the other day that came to me in the form of a daydream. I was sitting in the library staring off into space when suddenly I imagined myself in a...

Hollowed Be Thy Name

Originally published at Real Live Preacher in May of 2003. These people asked me to do a wedding in a hollow church. I shit you not. A hollow church. They found this place in Dallas. The...

.9 of X

  Let this circle represent a pastor. Let x represent the reality of his life. X includes the best and the worst in him. X includes his secret sexual fantasies and the most selfish and harmful...

Do This in Remembrance of Me

This is a somewhat early RLP piece, written when I was still anonymous. I'd guess it was 2003. I met Hugh Elliott, the man who writes Standing Room Only, by email back in December of...

i think i killed real live preacher

My final entry i think i killed real live preacher i didnt mean to i thought resigning as the pastor of covenant baptist church would be its own thing i thought it would remove something from...

You Ain’t Jesus, Preacher Part Two: Losing The Language of Love

Note: Click here to read part one of this story. This is the story of how ministers find out they’re not Jesus. This is the story of hitting bottom. You start figuring out you’re not Jesus...

You Ain’t Jesus, Preacher, Part One: The Tower of Babel

Everyone has identity issues now and again. Maybe you don’t know who you are or don’t like who you think you might be. Maybe you’re a little too close to your mother, or maybe...