I had this feeling that I needed to do something more with this encounter. Maybe ask how he was doing spiritually or something. Bu honestly, I don’t even know what that means. And then I got really angry and said “NO!” to myself in a stern voice.
We said we should get together sometime. But I doubt if we will.
I just can’t shake this feeling that somehow I dropped the ball with this encounter. And I feel bad about it. I have to admit that. I do feel badly. And I’m kind of pissed that I feel bad, if that makes any sense. I’m angry that I feel bad. And it makes me not want to run into anyone like this again.
Because right now, I just don’t want to feel bad anymore. When I was a pastor, I felt bad all the time. I was never good enough for Jesus. Never cared enough about people. Never enough.
I hate that shit so much.