Apparently I did not leave enough clues that this was satire. Those familiar with my writing would know, but I have word that some did not understand this and were confused.

Gay marriage has been legal now for quite a few months. Thankfully, the sanctity of my own marriage seems to be holding up under the considerable strain. But still, I remain…uncomfortable. I have a vaguely bad feeling. And since I think my feelings are instrumental in the setting of public policy, allow me to elaborate on them.

It just seems like I can sort of feel the sanctity of my marriage leeching away into the societal ethers. You know what I mean? I think maybe there’s only so much sanctity to go around, and now the lesbians and gays want to take some of it for themselves.

And it just makes me kinda sad, you know? Just sad at the way – I don’t know – something seems to be going away. We’re losing some vaguely American marriage-ish thing that I can’t define but feel, you know? Is it too much to ask that gay and lesbian couples just stop being so focussed on themselves and give us more time to feel a little less scared about the idea that the value of our marriages might be – I don’t know – lessening or something?

Follow me here: