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RLP Archive

These are essays from the Real Live Preacher blog. 2002-2010

Trinket Transformation

I got to design my own office when we built our church four years ago. It's a 10' by 10' room with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves all around, a large window and a recessed area for...

I was only ever outside once

This piece was originally posted in February of 2004 and was intended to describe my experience as an anonymous blogger and my creepy feelings about how insulated Church culture is in our world. It...

A Love Letter for Redeemed Pagans and Lost Christians

There is only one righteous way for you to be saved if you’ve spent too much time in the Church. You must lay your religion down. Lay it down hard. Drop it. Leave it...

Tetragrammaton

Originally posted at Real Live Preacher on September 4th, 2003. Requested by Paige Baker. I recently watched "The Believer," a movie based on the true story of Daniel Burros, a Jewish man who was a...

Big Numbers and Little Girls

I’m in my office reading “Billions and Billions” by Carl Sagan and glancing occasionally at the picture of my youngest daughter that is on the screen of my computer. In this very moment, right now,...

Mark Twain

A man once told me that he believes every word in the bible. I was struck dumb with amazement. He Believes Every word in the bible There is no part of that statement that makes sense to me. He...

You Ain’t Jesus, Preacher Part Two: Losing The Language of Love

Note: Click here to read part one of this story. This is the story of how ministers find out they’re not Jesus. This is the story of hitting bottom. You start figuring out you’re not Jesus...

Elegy from Elton

I was driving the other day. The August sun was pounding on the car. Everything felt heavy. Things were moving slow and the traffic noise was incredibly intrusive, like it was from some other...

I eat TV preachers

I saw a TV preacher the other day. I was flipping through the channels, like men do, and there he was. A haircut with a floppy bible and a Plexiglas pulpit. He was pacing...

Greetings to the 2006 Freshman Class of Cornell University

Originally published in August of 2006 at Real Live Preacher. The big day is finally here; you’ve made it to college. You’ve worked hard to get into Cornell, and I assume you are giddy with...